9.21.25
Last week, in the wee hours of the morning, I was suddenly awoken to not so much a wild party going on in my chest, but something more akin to an old-fashioned bar room brawl! As I lay there wide awake and more than a tad concerned, my mind began deciphering these feelings wondering if they were something serious to be worried about or something that given a few more minutes would resolve itself. I decided on the latter. For you see, a week ago Friday, I had a pacemaker implanted in my chest in the hopes that after the failed ablation attempt, this would get my heart beating normally and in turn get me back to my old self. While I lay there, trying to relax, I found myself thinking about the battle going on in my chest. Whimsy kicked in and the story of Pirates and Pacers began to take shape.
Let me share the list of characters and a bit of background for my story.
Now for those who have followed my heart saga, I try to make the working of the heart as easy as possible to understand. The main pacemaker of the heart is the S.A. node, the Captain of the Ship. He resides in the top chamber of the heart and is of course, responsible for sending the signal to beat (to contract the heart muscles) to the crew below. The A.V. node, the First Mate as I call him, is stationed between the top and bottom chambers of the heart. His job is to hear the command from the Captain then pass it on to the Bosun’s Mate whose job it is to tell the crew below to beat, or in other words, contract the heart.
However, a sneaky Wily Pirate had slipped on board and every now and then when the Captain has succumbed to a tad too much rum, Wily Pirate would seize his chance and try to take over the ship. Problem was, he was creating a bit too much panic below decks, so an outsider was called in to help solve the problem, let’s call him Pacer. Now let the story begin……
A mere week ago, in an effort to establish some sort of normalcy to the ship, the powers that be decided it was time to intervene. Since Captain SA could not find and subdue the Wily Pirate on board, a new crew member was implanted who could take command when things went awry. Simply known as Pacer, he was bright and shiny and ready to take on this new task. All was going well for the first few days, but little did he know some rough seas were on the horizon, for that Wily Pirate was still waiting in the wings for his chance to take over.
Then one night, Wily Pirate, posing as a mere cabin boy, slipped the Captain more than his usual measure of grog with his evening meal. Before long the steady commands to the crew below to beat began to falter and Wily Pirate seized his chance to take over! In a captain like voice, he yelled “Beat! You mangy dogs!” – he could not resist adding the mangy dog part! – and although puzzled as to why a beat command was coming a tad early, First Mate AV dutifully passed along the order to the crew below. However, Wily Pirate was having too much fun at finally being boss so started issuing commands to beat more and more often to the consternation of First Mate AV, the Bosun’s Mate and entire crew who were sweating away below decks making the heart contract faster and faster!
Suddenly, Pacer realized what was going on! “Captain SA!” he yelled, then not getting any quick response, took it upon himself to regain control. Calling out in a loud commanding voice he established a steady rhythm of orders that overrode Wily Pirate’s and woke up Captain SA.
“What are you doing?” sputtered Captain SA. “It’s my job to rule this ship!” Still issuing commands to beat in a booming voice Pacer replied, “Well, you are not doing a very good job of it! So, I am taking over as of now!” As the Captain and Pacer argued, Wily Pirate threw in a couple more beat commands of his own just to stir the pot!
“Now hang on a minute! BEAT!” yelled Captain SA. First Mate AV, recognizing the captain’s voice, passed on the command to beat to the crew below even though they had just received an order moments before from Pacer!
“What on earth’s going on?” whispered First Mate AV to the Bosun’s Mate as he wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. The Bosun’s Mate shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes as if to say, “Beat’s me mate.” The confused crew below worked like mad to fulfill the orders coming fast and furious down from above although not without more than a good bit of grumbling!
Up above deck, the battle for power continued. Captain SA continued to roar down the order to beat, Wily Pirate, seizing his chance every now and then added his command to throw in an extra beat or two while Pacer worked diligently to override them both and establish a steady rhythm in the hopes of bringing order to the ensuing chaos! Finally, Wily Pirate slunk back into the shadows and Captain SA collapsed on his bunk.
“Now listen here Captain SA, this just will not do!” Pacer said in between issuing his commands to beat. “We can either work as a team or I am going to replace you entirely!” Rather red in the face, Captain SA said, “Replace me? What do you mean replace me? I have been running this ship for almost 65 years! You can’t just replace me! I am irreplaceable.”
“Look,” said Pacer in a reasonable voice, all the while continuing to bellow out his orders to beat, “there is no reason we cannot work together. I am here and will be for a long, long time. What we must do is work together to kick that Wily Pirate off the ship. Then, when you feel a bit tired and need a lie down, I’ll be there to step in and take over to keep the crew in line.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Captain SA said, “but what if I don’t want to work with you? What happens then? What if I can’t throw Wily Pirate off the ship or don’t really want to? At least he is a seaman, while you’re an outsider.”
“That of course is up to you.” Pacer replied sternly. “However, if you decide not to work with me, there are those above us both who will step in and take control. Think about it, but not for too long.” In a gentler voice he added, “Is it not better to compromise and work together rather than to fight and drift apart? Let’s give it a go, shall we?”
They shook hands and began working as a team. The crew below decks breathed a sigh of relief as they resumed their steady work contracting the heart. Yet in the shadows, Wily Pirate lurked.
